Guys! Let me introduce you to the lovely Syifa from Indonesia. She’s one inspiring woman in the solo female travel community, and I fell in love with her story.

REFLECTION OF BEING 200 DAYS AWAY FROM HOME…

Some people may always think that we have plenty of money just because we travel a lot.

Some people may think that we have a life that everyone wants, being someone who lives abroad.

Some people may think that we are always happy.But everyone has their own story…
And here is my story…

Anissa


Like many of you, I grew up in what I would call SURVIVAL MODE.

I come from a family that has always been struggling with money. We aren’t wealthy, but we had almost just what I would call “enough”. I come from parents whom neither of them went to university. So none of them had the experience of knowing what it feels like to study in a higher education level. Because of this, neither of them had the opportunity to have the job that earns well. We never owned a car even until now; we didn’t have our own house, not until I was 15 years old.

My father was a bank security officer throughout his life, and my mother is still a customer service of a bank, until now. I remember during my high school year that I was ashamed of my father due to his job. I got to question myself why wasn’t I born into a different family.
I remember that I had to nearly give up the idea of going to university because we could never afford the tuition fee. Despite the fact that I got half scholarship, my parents had to borrow a large chunk of money from several people. I had to keep my GPA score high so just that I could ask for another financial aid from the school. Finishing school was challenging, but I didn’t quit.

I started working when I was still in university to help my parents,  and to earn my own pocket money. I had my first real job in a government sector that only paid me $200 per month. I was also just paid around $350 for my second job. As much as I try to enjoy the work that I did, I was also struggling to validate my self-worth due to its low pay. But I knew I had to stay and trust the process, and I didn’t quit.
In the years to follow, I started to lose my self-esteem, and until late of 2015, I was at one of my lowest points. I had to see a psychiatrist. I had suffered from an anxiety disorder. It was one of the most desperate moments in my life, but I didn’t quit.

Despite being grateful that I have the chance to travel, and currently have the opportunity to work and live in Northwest China, there are still days that I am struggling to love myself.

There are still days that I spend the whole time being anxious over financial security.

There are still days that I struggle to feel myself. But I do not quit.
As you can all imagine, all of these years of unexpected events, not only helped me become the daring woman I am today, the woman whom I know is not a quitter, but also reminded me that I am vulnerable. And in life, there is no real safety, except self-belief.

To the self-doubter, naysayers, and to everyone who is now struggling to achieve their dream, remember that every resistance can only make you stronger, make you push harder, make you the fighter that you are today.
You will fail at some point in your life, accept it. You will lose, you will embarrass yourself, you will suck at something. There was no doubt about it. When you fall throughout life, remember this, fall forward.

Anissa on bike

You are what you believe.

Anissa

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